Life

My life's been a blur since I went back to work. Things are crazy again. My workload comes in waves and right now I am going thru an incredibly busy time (It's almost 9PM and I decided to take a break from doing work to write this post, as my complacency and lack of entries has been bothering even yours truly here). On top of that, I've been interviewing a temp to cover for me while I'm on maternity leave. Even though it feels like this pregnancy will never be over, I have less than 2 months to go and it is time to get cracking on finding me a temporary replacement.

My husband is super frustrated at work. He is working too much. He wants to be home with me and enjoy our pregnancy - this is such a special time for us and he is coming home late all the time, he hasn't been able to workout, he's been traveling way too often. Plus, we do get along and enjoy each others' company after all. We feel like our lives have been consumed with work and preparing our home and ourselves for baby.

I've been really umconfortable. I'm so heavy and as a result, I have backaches, I developed numbness on my fingers due to water retention, I can't walk or sit for more than 30' at a time, and on a more superficial level, I feel really ugly. Fat and ugly.

Ugh. A part of me wants to enjoy this time that I still have as a chidless woman, enjoy these 2 months when I can still go out to dinner, to the movies, and to the gym with John and not worry about having to come home because we left the baby with the babysitter, when I can sleep at night without having to wake up to feed a baby and I can still do all these things that after her birth I'll have to modify my approach to doing them... But our baby is so present and such already such a constant in my life that I am not sure that I feel chidless anymore.

I can't wait until she's here.