My Annual Review

I had my (work) annual review on Monday, via phone - which is definitely not the best way to do it, but my supervisor and I had no choice considering that my dr. hadn't given me the OK to go back to work yet and it had to be done. I received a great review but I was VERY disappointed at my summary rating of "fully competent" (as opposed to "exceptional performer"). I expressed my disappointment to my supervisor, and although he made a couple of changes to his review by adding even more praises, ...etc, he ultimately left my summary rating as it was.

I met up with my supervisor yesterday to wrap up Monday's discussion and sign my performance plan. I was surprinsingly calm during my discussion with him. See, even though he gave me the "fully competent" rating, I KNOW that last year, I performed exceptionally. I received fantastic reviews from certain top executives in my company, I worked my butt of and exceeded the goals that were established for me, having, mind you, e-mail documentation to back everything up. Inside of me, with all honesty, I know that I worked above and beyond your average person. After thinking about this for 4 days, I decided to respect my supervisor's decision and not create a big deal out of my summary rating with HR.

Part of my being so upset is knowing that I had such a great year last year, that it will be tough to top it this year. I am also being incredibly afraid that now that I'll be having a baby, I won't have the same chance to "shine" like I did in 2007 and that I'll have to conform, yet again, with an average rating. I am not a person who accepts "average" as my standard. I don't coast. I love my job. I work hard. I have a strong work ethic. I care.

But I also realize that my supervisor is not out there to "get me" - if he gave me a great review but a "fully competent" summary, after debating it for 4 days, I decided that it is best to accept it and try harder this year.

Now here lies the conflict: how am I going to try harder when my priorities are already shifting (I can only imagine how it's gonna be when the baby is born) and work is no longer as important as it used to be?